do you have that one person, that no matter what, you always find yourself going back to? not even in a relationship, they just always find their way back into your thoughts, and into your heart.
even if you stop having feelings for them for months at a time, maybe you'll even find someone to replace them for a little while.
and no matter how much you will yourself to stop thinking about them, it eventually ends up coming back to them.
for me, that's you.
you're written over every page in my journal. you're sprawled across every blog I've ever had.
you mattered so much to me.
there's obviously a reason I had such strong feelings for you for those 3 and a half years.
and now, as much as I'm trying not to let it, they're back. I don't know why.
how could I let this ruin our friendship? I've worked so hard to get this far. and now, me and my stupid head's going to ruin it all.
why? why did I even like you so much in the first place? I don't even know where it started.
all I know is that I can't get you out of my head.
and I'm sorry for lying to you...did I ruin the chance I had? what if you were falling for me too until I denied it?
or did I do the right thing? is our friendship more important?
I'm confused, and I hate this.
why can't you just like me back?
or better yet, why can't I just not have feelings for you at all?